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Writer's pictureSista Mercie

Amos 3 Verse 3


'Just the Two of Us' by Keetra Dixon
Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? Amos 3:3 (New Living Translation)

There are too many sermons, too many books, too many theories, too many quotes, concepts, keys and ideas and too much free (sometimes unsolicited) advice on love, relationship and marriage; How to choose a life partner… How to build a successful marriage… Ten steps to blissful family life… Fifty ways to love your spouse… Ninety things to do to keep the other woman away… 101 romantic ideas to keep love aflame….


With all these information right in our faces why does it seem like there are more unhappy marriages around us than there are happy ones?


Marriage, as God designed it, is an equation meant for two. From the moment He announced; ‘It is not good that the man should be alone’, the Lord God introduced an equal but opposite balance to his summation of the equation called Man whom he already created in the beginning. Male and female created He them… the man cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh (Genesis 1:27, 2:18-24). The female man, God created, to help the male man fulfill his (God’s) purpose for the earth (not necessarily the man’s vision because a lot of women relinquish their passion after they get married).

I do not have 15 keys to suggest for a long-lasting marriage; but permit me to share just one thought from the Bible which I consider the only key to a successful marriage: Amos 3:3; Can two people walk together if they are not in agreement?


Agreement, even more than just love – for love sometimes grows cold – would keep any marriage alive.


If a marriage is in crisis, it is because one person is not in agreement with the other; one partner has an agenda that is conflicting with the overall ideal atmosphere of their home; they are unequally yoked, though believers.


More marriages are failing owing to a lack of patience more than a lack of love… people are in union with people they cannot live with. Some spouses would never take responsibility for their weaknesses and work on getting better. Others are blinded by the mountains in their eyes, only seeing the speck in their partner’s eyes. Some would blame everything going wrong in the home on their spouses. Some would rather create a false outlook for people to see rather than repair the core of their marriage. Some only see the faults of their partners irrespective of their many good points. Most are simply no longer interested in the home, because they found ‘options’ outside… So no matter what the other partner does in the hope of making the marriage work, it never works because two people cannot walk together if they have not agreed to do so.…

Hence we beget sad couples; men and women merely living through the drudgery of what we religiously term ‘family life’, simply getting by – no pep, zero zeal, nil excitement… sometimes waking up after 15, 20 years or more, regretting it all, and suddenly walking out for no apparent reason other than the desire to have a real chance at life. We simply have no idea how many times we have envied a married person, thinking how lucky they must be to be married to so and so, without knowing that they were actually living in hell…


Of course there may be troubling and trying times and phases of discomfort, tears, and the likes when God prunes you by using the challenges in your marriage to mould you into a better image of him, but too many marriages are in perpetual turmoil where one spouse is doing all the loving… all the hoping… all the expending… getting worked up, worn out and sometimes dying for marriage sake….. it is wicked to let one person alone juggle to balance an equation meant for two.


This agreement must be made even before the journey begins. Expectations should be clearly defined from the start to avoid raising false hopes and assumptions, and both parties should be willing to present their best words and actions, even if they stumble at first. It takes two to tango but if they must enjoy the dance, they both must learn the steps, and that process, unfortunately, means a lot of stepping on each other’s toes before mastery is gained.


Marriage is a covenant; a contract; a commitment; an agreement to stick together through mistakes, heartaches, shame, life threatening illnesses, consequences of bad decisions, pressures from in-laws, associates and friends, and all other issues that separate people who once swore to be together for life. The late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya often said that Marriage is two forgivers living together.

No matter how many marriage keys one is willing to apply, one spouse alone, no matter how brave his/her intentions are, may never make it work.

They may celebrate 50 years of marriage but in insecurity, batter, banter and infidelity. Well-wishers will gather and call them blessed; their children before whom they had been pretending will call them role models, but they and their God would know how their score sheet really looked like.


Marriage is teamwork – the blame game butt-kicked and all four hands rowing together, passionately, to keep the boat afloat, regardless of the winds and waves that beat against it.


Kudos to all the couples out there who are in agreement to make their marriages work. May our God honour your love and labours with peace and joy. Amen.


- Sista Mercie


#Agreement #Marriage #Medispirations

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